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Big Fuzzy Breast Monster

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Bob awake, he was laying on the deck plating of the ship he had boarded not hours before, the ship that was supposed to be going home one having completed his primary mission. Impregnating the Giant Fuzzy Breast Monster that had given him so much grief for over a year. It only took a moment for him to realize that something had gone horribly wrong.

Examining the soft fleshy area of his chest, Bob all but gasped in horror and quickly averted his gaze. Thankfully he seemed to have passed out in what appeared to be the medical bay of the ship. After some delicate work, he managed to secure several wraps of medical bandages around his chest. It had helped, and the pain killers he had popped, though they left him light headed, kept the aches in his chest at bay. Looking around, he tried to figure out what had happened.

Outside of the medical ward, Bob came across a scene out of a science fiction horror film, not unlike the one he had seen when he was hiding in the movie theater while trying to get to the Big Fuzzy Breast Monster and its smaller companion. The film had involved a mammal with a chain saw and what looked like raw meat for a face, and the mammal seemed to be bent on chasing others around with malicious intent. Bob, had of course recognized the mammal for what it was, this was what the mammals of the Big Fuzzy Breast Monsters’s world called: Dentists.

The thoughts made him shiver, if there was a dentist on board he did not want to be there. No, he wanted to be anywhere else in fact, including in the snowbank where the horrible Snow Gobbler had chased him around the yard.

Around him, the scene was not one he would be able to forget soon. This is what it must look like in the waiting room when one was told they had to wait their turn to be tortured. Mangled bodies of drones and warriors lay in heaps, splattered over the ceiling, and torn to small almost unrecognizable pieces. Bob, having never been to a Dentists office, vowed he would die before submitting to such a fate.

Drawing in all his courage, he began to sneak down the hallway, hoping that he could get to an escape pod and flee before he was noticed.

Elsewhere on the ship, Fred, one of the newest Alien drones on the ship scampered to the corner and carefully peeked around it. The monstrosity that had come from the medical ward was no where in site, for now. After its initial attack where most of the warriors of his hive had died gruesome and horrible deaths, he and the few survivors had fled, gone into hiding hoping against all hope that the monster would not find them.

Careful to keep his hissing to a minimum, Fred tried not to look down at the sprawled black glossy corpse that had once been a warrior drone. Though it was hard to tell, he swore it had a look of terror in its gaping mouth. Before he could ponder the mystery further though, the sound of a pipe striking the floor sent a new wave of panic through him, it could have just fallen off, or it could have been knocked off. Fred, not wanting to think about it fled away from the noise, blindly rounding a corner he almost ran face first into a mammal in camouflage fatigues.  

‘Bloody ****!’ Corporal Sanders yelled as one of the xenomorphs came bolting around the corner running into him and sending him to the floor. The grate he had been trying to pull open wrenched from his paws, as he flew backwards. Instinct sent his free paw to the pistol at his hip, though the futility of the gesture registered in the back of his mind. He, like the few other mammal survivors on the H.M.S Sirrin had used up the last of their ammo almost a week ago. Instead his paw went for his boot knife, determined to take the xenomorph down with him.

Instead to his shock and bewilderment the creature pushed him aside hard, smacking his head against the deck as it ripped the grate he had been trying to open off its hinges and vanished inside. And though he glimpsed it only for an instant, he swore the xeno had flashed a very rude gesture at him with one of its spiny fingers.

‘This place just keeps getting better and better.’ Sanders muttered to himself, as he got back to his feet. ‘Just better and better.’

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MviluUatusun's avatar
This story has been sitting in my queue to be read for a while.  Now that I finally read it, I wish I'd read it sooner.  All I can say is, ROFLMAO, especially at the rude gesture.  Now, I'm wondering who the xenomorph was running from.  It wasn't a certain hyena was it?  LOL.